This piece done by a friend, Titus Kaphar, is hitting home right now. I am going through spiritual crisis of sorts in the sense that me and God are fighting. It's painful. Like a bad break up. Where you are all of a sudden painfully aware of the absense of their love and wonder if the whole relationship had been a facade - Have you ever been love or has it all been a lie. It's a struggle to piece it all together, because there are so many missing pieces that don't fit together.

missing the sound of his voice

All morning I was kinda waiting around for 11:30 because that is when Zac usually takes lunch and calls me. It just kinda seemed like maybe he was just at work and not on the complete other side of the world. I was in the library with the girls around 11:30 when my cell rings with a number in the (281) area code. I answer to hear my sweet love's voice. He's made it to Dubai and is at this place called the Kingdom house where he is staying for the night. A few minutes later my other line is clicking with a number starting in a bunch of 0's. It's clearly international, I click over to find Charity, his sister, on the other line. It's not to often you have Dubai on one line and Sanaa on the other. A quick update with her about his passport success and where abouts and having him call her when we get off the phone. It was short, but very sweet. Very very sweet. Later, the girls and I are leaving the library and heading to the field where they can get their shouts and wiggles out. The phone rings again. He calls back to check in yet again and say goodnight before heading off to bed. How lucky am I. It's kinda like he's not really gone.

Because You All Wanted To Know

Diamond Fashion Ring in Two-Tone Gold
Originally uploaded by Lizapalooza.

No, I'm not engaged, but you all kept asking about them so here's the up close look at what my sweet love gave to me...

This stylish design features two rings with 26 round diamonds at approximately .69 carat total weight. These brilliant, hand-matched stones are set in a quality 14 karat rose and white gold setting.

I know. I feel like it's the 5th day of Christmas!

Up Off and Away

Well, he got it done. I was up at 4 am emailing scanned copies of Zac's birth certificate and old passport to my dear cousin bean who printed them up for him so that he could have the cabby swing by her street on his way to the passport office which opened at 7:30 NYC time. It was an adventurous day all in all. Zac's first trip to NYC. It felt like Zac was still here because I talked to him so much. It was definately a team effort. I was on the internet looking up all the times and locations of everyplace he needed to go and together we rummaged together everything he needed for a new passport. I'm very tempted to post a copy of the very bad passport pic that he will be stuck with for the next 10 years. I slept again while that was in process. It was 9am here when I'm back to work mapquesting the Yemen embassy and pulling up the NYC subway system to coordinate directions for Zac, who is a newbie to the city. But alas, a new visa is obtained and he is on schedule to catch his 11pm flight. Finally, able to relax he grabs a late lunch. My dear cousin intercepts him and brings him back to her place for a nap in the foam palace, before boarding the subway once again to get back to JFK. There was a bit where they hadn't located his luggage and for a while I thought it may have gone to Dubai without him, but it got all fixed up. And he's off. He'll land at 10 am tomorrow in Dubai. A 14 hour flight followed by a 12 hour overnight layover in Dubai before he makes the early morning one hour flight over to Sanaa.

Update... Pray for Zac

Somewhere between TX and NY, Zac lost his passport (with visa stamp inside). It most likely fell out of his pocket on an American Airlines plane. There is nobody answering at the AA counters right now because it is late and they are closed. His flight to Dubai had to leave with out him. He is going to the Emigrants (sp?) Airline counter right now to reschedule his flight. Then he will be attempting to get a new passport and visa in NYC tomorrow. I'm working on contacting some friends we have there to put him up and help him out.

Keep Zac on your hearts right now as he is going through this.

update: flight is rescheduled for tomorrow night at the same time. Now he just needs a new passport or the old one to show up by then.

BooHoo without Zacaroo

So I'm pretty depressive right now. Zac is gone. I dropped him off at the airport this morning. We were running late (of course), so there was no time for a good proper long goodbye. I sit here sulking, and even his calls from his Dallas and NY layovers don't really cheer me up because I'm painfully aware that he isn't calling me from his truck on his way home from work. He's not coming home for 26 days. I didn't do my homework today. I didn't feel like it. I only felt like laying around in bed sulking. And then I stepped on the scale (something I rarely do), and found out I gained weight. I'm going to end up in a depressive chocolate eating funk that will have me gaining pounds and sizes. By the time Zac comes home I'll be so fat he won't even want to be with me anymore. I'm picturing Ben Stiller at the end of Dodgeball.

But I went to the store and bought some vegetables. I have alot of meals planned that I've been procrastinating on cooking. And I should not let myself get barracaded in my room of self pity. So let the planning begin. Let me know if you are interested in helping me do homework (I need babysitting on this or I'll just sit around depressive), rambo cleaning project at Zac's house, hiking, going to 24 hr fitness, swimming, playing games, helping create core convergence powerpoint, or coming over for any of the following meals: homemade pizza, gnocci in squash puree, teriyaki chicken, avocado soup, chicken fajitas, mustard beer shrimp, salmon with red pepper sauce, or pasta of any kind.

My Wide Open Schedule:

• Friday, 15th after 7- Hanging with Lani
• Sunday, 17th anytime (although I should do homework)
• Monday, 18th after 6
• Tuesday, 19th anytime
• Friday, 22nd - Sunday, 24th - all wide open. Anybody want to take a little trip?
• Tuesday, 26th anytime
• Wednesday, 27th after 7
• Friday, 29th - Wednesday, 4th - freak out with me about finishing final paper and catching up on late assignments.
• Friday, 6th anytime - help me celebrate my 9 month anniversary with Zac.
• Saturday, 7th- come with to get Zac and maybe we all grab dinner and a show afterwards. I think this is the last night of John Brewers performance. Also going on this night... a JEFFERSON STARSHIP JEFFERSON FAMILY GALACTIC REUNION performance in Pittsburgh that would be awesome to go to.

So anyways, let me know if you are game to hang out, what you want to do, and when you want to do it. Act now. Openings are going fast.

Looking into...

I think I'll make my way up north for this. Also looking to see if I can make a trip to TX a reality in the next few weeks. And thinking about Bakersfield and maybe San Diego.

Time For Another Famous Bulletpoint Review

• Labor Day Weekend was spent backpacking through Ansel Adams Wilderness to 1,000 Island Lake. Apparently, I've never hiked through the sierras and had never ever experienced altitude sickness. But at 10,000 ft I got my first experience with these symptoms: Dizziness, Loss of appetite, Shortness of breath, Disturbed sleep, General feeling of malaise , Severe headache that is not relieved by medication, Nausea and vomiting, increasing weakness and fatigue, Decreased co-ordination (ataxia). Special thanks to Tom & Louis who carried a lot of the weighty items in my pack on the way down to spare me. And to Zac who was caring for me to the extent of burying my barf. Gross I know. What a keeper he is!
• Biblical Interpretation Crisis Overcome. With the help of such dedicated friends as Lani, Josh, and Zac and with the mercy of Professor Lee, I managed a B on the final that was causing my destruction just weeks ago. And for the whole class... a B-. Not bad given the number of assignments not turned in at the end. Good Job Team! Thanks to all those who were so understanding and provided emotional support for my breakdown! You all rock!
• Zac is leaving me. Not for good. For Yemen. To visit his sister. For 26 days. And this departure occurs in just a week. Join me in cramming a whirlwind of prayer around this venture for both Zac and his sister. There is so much to do. We are trying to cram in hanging with friends, having quality time dates, packing, and tackling a huge to do list before he leaves. And what will I do while he is away? Get good grades. Travel to far away churches. Reconnect with friends who claim to be ditched for the boyfriend. Catch up with netflix. Reorg my life.
• Good bye Keiko & Mariam. Hello Lyndsie & Crystal. Roommate swap. I am once again sporting a full house. Kendra is here of course as my faithful garden buddy. And now two new additions join. We are still getting acclimated.
• Andrea is back! I really missed her this summer. It was cool to see her pics from all her traveling. I'm so jealous. And we celebrated her birthday with a quaint private dinner followed by a surprise ice cream social that brought throngs of yellow followers to see the legend in the flesh... tan flesh.
• Enjoying... weddings, candy, flipping the calendar month, my food target chart, cherry tomatoes, kisses, the first of the month, pita pockets, the park, disposable cameras, lala, doing the dishes, harvesting the garden, salads, rings (plural), mineral hotspring showers, green tea, trader joes, and a plethora of wittiness.