Thursday, August 24

I'm hating life

I'm tired. I'm tired of school, work, being broke, being stuck here, not hearing from God, not having the answers, having purpose but no direction, looking for roommates, having to get out of bed. I don't want to deal with life. I need a vacation. This summer of unemployment was no vacation as I sat broke, consumed with financial worries, waiting for checks, and being bound to this state by mandatory weekly classes. Now it is fall and I've had no relaxation, no escape. I am overwhelmed. I am painfully aware at how unsuccessfully I am handling life. On paper it looks like I should be making enough, but in reality I am not. Why doesn't my pocketbook match up with my budget. I rarely buy anything these days. And I'm complaining about money because I'd rather obssess over that than deal with the problem at hand... my final paper. It is 16 of the 31 assignments due at 6:00 tonight. I have 8 hours of which I will be working, to attempt to distract the kids long enough to put enough logical thoughts down on paper to appease my professor to give me a passing grade (despite the fact that I won't be turning in the other 6 assignments that I am behind. This system isn't working for me. This double work week gets me feeling like I am behind when I start a class, and then I never catch up. I hate existing right now. I deperately need a carefree moment.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This to will pass. Take no thought for tomorrow. It shall take thought of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil there of. Let your sufficiency be from Christ. Because cut is. Here is a saying from an Old English Sage named Arthur Burt. He is 94 and still going strong. Don’t desert your desert! Draw until you strike oil! It will be fuel for your revolution. Last I will leave you with this. “For from him, Through Him and to Him are ALL things.

10:31 AM  
Blogger Suzanna said...

I am praying for you right now. Yes! rant and rave and then do what you can. The rest will get swallowed up in the universe which is yours in the Father. Then, don't go to sleep until you speak with a friend.

12:03 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

I am seeking help... a very difficult thing for me to do. I left a message for my school mentor hoping that we may brainstorm some idea on how to help me. Let's hope he gets back to me with some saving grace. In the meanwhile I'm trudging away with one child napping, one at school, and the other playing mysteriously quietly in the other room. Hmmm. I should check on her. Thanks for concerns and prayers.

1:02 PM  
Blogger Yellow said...

That sounds shitty. I hate when life sucks. I hope your mentor at school is of some help.

I like that you're so real with what is going on with you, Liz. Thanks. Can't wait to see you, friend.

5:09 PM  
Anonymous Rob said...

Sometimes I still don't understand how living life has a way of sucking the life out of you. I am glad you are seeking help. I guess I would just like to take the time to say thank-you to you for picking me up when I felt something like this.

I feel the pain of nearly every word in that post.

Take time. Take a nap. take a walk. Love. receive love. luckily feelings like these come and go. I second the Yellow, thanks for being real.

7:45 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

The mentor went on vacation. I did what I could and turned it in with parts missing. I am eager to get going on the new class so I don't end up in this same hell in another 5 weeks, but I feel that I need to finish what wasn't done in the last class. What to do? Strive in the hopes of merciful acceptance of late work in hopes that I'll catch up in the new class. Or say what's done is done and move forward still catching up because I'm already a week behind on my assignments. I get labor day off to as a mercy week to catch up. So what do y'all advise?

10:49 PM  
Anonymous Lani said...

If you got an extension on the 6 assignments from the last class, I would still like to help you. I'm sorry I wasn't much help on Thursday, but I'm super proud of you for finishing your paper and turning it in. I read it and it is fantastic. I wouldn't worry much about the additional research information you found. YOu did good and you finished it. Kudos.
Let me know. If you have the extension, I say lets finish it.

10:55 PM  

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