Helter Skelter

Seeing as I am all obsessed with school and I never get time to leisurely write in my blog anymore, it has been requested that I start posting my school work on here to keep you up to date with what I'm doing at least.

But we'll try to give you the quick points in life first:

• A special thank you to everyone who has been worked to make hot tub dreams a reality. Zac, Rob, Travis, Thomas, Kendra, Myra, and a special thank you to Mike, the hot tub owner who not only helped us load it but came to my house later to help unload it. The thing is huge. We destroyed a ton of the siding in the process, but that will be fixed. Zac with the help of Mike A. has been wewiring for 220 connection. It's almost all done.
• School so far is good. My cohort is pretty small... just 7 of us. This particular class I am in is called Strategies for Success and I've really enjoyed it thus far. There has been alot of intraspective evaluations about my own strengths and goals and mission if life. I learned that my top 5 strengths are that I am Restorative (fixing problems), Futuristic (visionary looking forward), Competitive, Includer (rallys everybody - no one left out), and Communication (which I disagree with given that I avoid most focused conversations). And every week I have breakdowns about the smallest assignments that are due online mid-week. Thank you to Aimee, Carrie, Zac, Angela, and Mike A. who have nursed me through and babysat me in my crisis over writing a one page essay. I know you can't wait for my 10 page final paper to be due next month.
• I am currently unemployed. I am revisiting the forever debate between childcare or corporate. Playdates or Paydays. Career or Kiddies. So I have nanny clients lined up ready to start. I have 3 clients whose schedules will work together to provide me free time up the ying yang as well as enough money to pay the bills. I'd have no stress other than school, and honestly isn't school enough? But on the other hand, came an invitation to apply for a great job of career magnitude doing work I love for a company I love. I am a little lacking on all their qualification checklists, but it would be a good fit. I would have more stress and less free time, but more money and a career and learning experiences that would help me with Core Convergence. And more money equals less financial aid debt. And really for a girl looking to open a non-profit, it would be a significant amount of time before I could make that $30K disappear. Unless.... I was making enough to pay it as I accrued it. Problem- my background check showed up dirty. They think I'm a criminal because a the company who does the background check show some offense in the county of Riverside. They provide a case number but no other info. Like it could be anything. Well it wasn't anything. It was a speeding ticket in Indio 8 years ago. And I took traffic school for it. So why is it haunting me now trying to pretend that I am criminalistic? The county of Riverside court system can't even find the offense. Nor can the department of justice. So where exactly is this background check company getting their info from is what I would like to know. Because it's faulty! I'm not thrilled. It looks like I may end up on the kiddie track if this isn't cleared up.
• Dave Jacobs has been my pastor most of my life for the last 20 years. I remember when I was about 12 he did a whole message surrounding the analogy of me getting my drivers license. We were a small church of about 20 people back then. Now he is leaving his position as pastor to be a pastor to pastors. I've known it's a passion of his. And I'm sure God will use him there. In the meanwhile, we are in a week of prayer (and fasting if i can stop eating) to figure out what this will mean for the church. We are praying over whether or not we will individually stay or go and what we think should happen to the church minus Dave. I've been called in another direction for a long time, so I will go back to pursuing that path. I will be interested to see what paths others will choose and I'm curious to see if God leads any to the same path I'm on.
• Recently my father told me "hmm. you're pretty independent." My former boss has said to me, " You are almost too independent." I'd like to know how this happens given that I have close to no desire to be so independent. I am totally in need of having people I can rely on. And I don't know really how it looks to rely on others, but I know that I feel incredibly guilty asking anybody for help. It's why it's such a huge deal when people do help me. I need so much help. I'm not at all succeeding in this oh so independent existance I have carved out for myself. So when I hear the words slip out of my father's mouth it's like a stab to my gut and in my head I'm shouting.... "I NEED YOU!"