$247

The cost of parking in the wrong place. It was late and dark and I didn't see the signs because they were blocked from visibility by other parked cars. And to top it I was partially in the red. So this morning I go out to find that my car has been towed. They are working on the street and my vehicle was in the way. Apparently I had just missed it. Now I scan my brain for who isn't working who can help me out. And the logical answer is my mother because she is right around the corner, but our last encounter was hurtful and I'm not quite over that pain. So I skip logical and go around to the next best thing. Family like friends. Jerome's mom comes and picks me up and takes me to the police station where I pay $101 for the vehicle release and then to the tow yard where I pay $110 for the tow and $36 for the daily storage rate. $247 total . That was a huge pain.

So I keep meeting people on the street and interacting with them in fulfilling needs, but then once I'm gone it comes to me what else I could have done. The guy seemed a little down and my extra bagel although appreciated didn't cure his troubles. I should have asked what was bothering him. Or what he was reading. He was so unresponsive. Maybe he was bordering on ill. And the couple who approached me on the street and asked me to pray for them. Debbie and Patrick... now that I think about it I saw them peering into an abandoned building before they approached me. Perhaps, they were in need of a place to stay. They didn't mention that need when I asked them what they'd like me to pray for. But then again they also didn't mention the need for jobs or income yet they did need money for McDonalds. Maybe if I had spent more time relating to them I would have discovered a deeper need I could have helped with rather than just providing temporary solutions. Imagine if I had a problem that everybody just offered temporary help with but never had the peace of feeling stable or resolved, not knowing what I would do when the temporary solution ended. Money goes. Hunger returns. Nightfall comes. Rest is needed. I want to strive to make more permanent impacts on the people I encounter. I think my ability to do this will fall in line with my comfortableness in slowing down. These God sent opportunities often catch me off guard and I feel panic in my effort to respond. Pray that I can overcome the panic to clearly see what God is trying to show me about the situations before me.

The Big Question
A phenomenal film that I went and viewed last night at the Cinequest film festival. The blurb said it was to do with people's perceptions of God. I was surprised that this documentary was filmed in the Italian village location on the set of the Passion of the Christ film. The subjects for these interviews were the actors and the village locals. It was very intriguing as all sorts of view points were shared. And I think these interviewees were probably had given these topics much thought being surrounded by the filming of such a thought provoking movie. It's a shame it was the last showing of it, because I would suggest seeing it. I was certainly blessed by it. The artistic side of it was beautiful. There was a storyline of a wandering dog who aimlessly roamed and searched the countryside. It nicely paralleled the human spirituality process. And the differences unioned together with simularities of praise and flesh and it was really something I could appreciate.

The other day I was hiking Quicksilver and talking to God as I walked. First I was review the trinity and how I interacted with each part. The question that popped into my head was "Who am I praying to? the Father, the Son, or the Holy Spirit?" And I think I generally pray with God in mind, except for when I'm asking for favors then I think I have Jesus in mind more. And I ask for the Spirit but rarely pray to the Spirit. I don't feel like I'm often answered back directly by God or Jesus but almost always answered by the Holy Spirit from God or Jesus. Although sometimes it is more clearly presented answers in the forms of words and then I feel like it's Jesus. And I realize that they are an interconnected One, but I was intrigued by who I felt I was connecting and relating to in certain circumstances. God the Father as my loving creator, Jesus as my grace saving miracle worker, the Holy Spirit as my empowering force that grants me divine power and inspiration and comfort beyond my own capabilities.

So anyways as I continue in my walk I come to my favorite little spot along the river that I like to sit and pray at. And as I'm praying (to God the Father) I am praising in awe of how the Lord has every aspect of our beautiful world of nature balanced in equilibrium through His power and force. And I pray that he also as he does with the rivers and trees and earth and weather and creatures, that He would also keep my life in a balancing equilibrium, that he not let my life spin out of orbit and fall apart into self destructive chaos. As I continue my hike I spot a large majestic Oak tree that in the aftermath of recent rainstorms has cracked off a large limb that now lays at its trunk. And I ask God why in his perfect power of nature's equilibrium does he let this happen to the tree. In which I am answered (by God) that there are parts of our lives that are weak and not healthy and need to be severed, but good comes out of it because as that unhealthy limb lies unattached rotting at our base, it serves as nurtrients to strengthen the soil that the roots have their foundation in. As it is with my life. That which is broke off from me is to feed me, make me grow, to strengthen me, to protect me from falling altogether. It is a necessary sacrafice to maintain my equilibrium. It's the cycle of nature paralleled through my life of dying and growing parts of me simultaneously.