Monday, January 9

And I say Heeeyeeeyeeeyeeah! Heeeeyeeeyeeey! I say Hey!! What's going on.....

  • Relationship Talks- the question arises... Am I your pastor or just the pastor of the church you go to? If I am not your pastor, then who is? Who have you put in a position of spiritual authority over you? Are they ordained by God for such work? Do they have age and wisdom and experience? Who is sending me out? It stirs up alot of questions for me. Is this my church or do I come here to see the people from my real church community? Was my process started off in a way other than God's way or was I doing it in God's way but just with a different unconventional set of spiritual elders in my life? And do these people of leadership in my life know that they are in that position in my life and are they comfortable with that and feel called as well to be there? Am I suppose to seek advice from somebody so distant to me who knows nothing of my personality, faith, or life circumstances and has no interest in knowing me in that way over those who volunteerily choose to be participating in community with me and have a sincere Christ following love and concern for me? It looks like I'll be digging into Acts and Timothy this week.
  • Rhythm Nation Retreat- ok, so it was just some of the bay area emergent people up in a cabin in the Santa Cruz mountains sipping kool-aid (ok, it was just cider and wine) while we discussed common life practices we could adhere to in our life that would promote community and Lord seeking. What we have committed signed in blood to do for the next month... 1. Read the gospels starting with Matthew one chapter at a time. Today being the 9th, we will read Ch 9. 2. Once a week to spend a meal with "Others" in a process of getting to know them without agenda. "Others" are those who are in dispair in their lives, perhaps in the way of being poor or lonely or outcast from whatever you consider your normal social setting. For some "other" may fall into the category of a wealthy white soccor mom who has desperation and a need for comfort. For some "other" would be the exact opposite. But we are striving to seek out the "other" and draw on getting to know and understand them without agenda. 3. Pray 3 times a day to correspond with meals. The Lord's Prayer for Breakfast. A prayer of your own for Dinner. And for Lunch we agree one of the prayers Adam wrote such as this one:
    You who dwell among the angels
    Help us to live in rhythm with your Pneuma
    Ever aware of your presence
    Teach us to live in your kingdom
    Walking in peace, speaking in love to those around us
    Unite us Adonia, in your redemptive work
    break us where we need to be broken
    mend us where we need mending
    open us to eternity present
    inspire our hearts to love beyond ourselves
    to live the adventure you call us into
    Shelter and protect us
    You ARE amazing Adonia!
    Thank you for the gift of today.
  • My Castle In The Sky- I attended a CCPY community meeting in which I observed an activity of constructing 10 story high paper castles out of index cards and then switching focuses to a game of volleyball in the same space where everybody in the room needed to participate in touching the ball without letting it hit the floor. The thing that happened though was that everybody was distracted with trying to protect their castles that they weren't focused on the goal of the volleyball game. Protecting the castle was not in the instructions, but it's inately what happens. It wasn't for sometime after all the castles had been incidentally knocked down that the group was able to focus on the task at hand and start to make any progress on successfully achieving their goal. The parallel here is that we all have "castles" that we are protecting. What are our castles? What are we protecting them from? How are we protecting them? What goals are we losing focus of because we are protecting them? Is it worth it? Who in your life do you protect? Who is protecting you? And how did I learn to be protective of these things?
    For me, the castles formed in my life manifests in way of my house, my popularity, my faith, and my dreams. And I'm tempted to throw my feelings in with that mix too. Some are worth protecting, but some are not. And I know that I am guilty of losing focus of my goals in order to protect them. Like the time I moved back home from my life in Newport Beach to preserve my ownership of my home. And protecting my faith and my popularity both have always had conflicting stances. And I notice now that at a lower level I protect others based on who needs it most over who I love most. And that is something I have been aiming to change. Overall I can't help but analysize my life and realize how many life altering decisions I have made based on a need to protect castles rather than acheive my goals.
  • 2005 Resolutions- ok, at first I thought that I had accomplished none of them. But then Lani said something about how living with me she learned from how I didn't live a duplicitous Christian lifestyle (not her exact words- I can't remember exactly what she said) and it made me realize that I had kept one... No Hiding Sin. I'm totally upfront with who I am no matter what because Christians aren't perfect and I'm not going to pretend to be. Duplicitous Christian living only adds to immense misconceptions about what being a Christian is that only frustrate non believers and believers alike. Then there is so much pressure that get's put on people and the loving acceptance of Christ gets lost. I think I'm getting off track now and perhaps that's another post for another day. Or better yet, just ask me about it sometime and let me rant for 15 minutes. Ok, so almost everything else on the list was a bust. But here's what wasn't. I did do marketing for the church. I did very well on paying my debt to Kim. I didn't do any more pricy home improvements. I sorta refrained from over the top wasting my time crushes, but really I just put that on the back burner because he was dating someone else, but now he's dating me so it all worked out. And I did audit some restaurant management courses for a few months.
  • 2006 New Years Resolutions- Are you ready for this? I don't know if I'm ready for this. But here I go...
    *tithe 10% of my time= 14 hrs/wk (completive breakdown: 7 daily devotion 2 church 3 home group 2 misc) *listen for god's blessings *bring emergent practices to South Bay & participate *spiritually uplift others *memorize verses *experiment with Bible on cd
    *add no more nanny clients
    *logo & business cards (Jan) *create community calendar (Jan) *full website (Mar) *create big book of resources (Feb) *art worship meetings (Jan) *pamphlets (Feb)*establish as nonprofit (Feb) *church visits (Mar)*first art auction (Jul)
    *pay dad rent *clear the remaining credit card debt *tithe to missions & Sampsons *budget living in part time income *begin a savings account *pay car off early *no overdrawn accts or late payments
    *know how they measure up to the list
    *make sure it resembles Christ's love
    *workout 3x/wk *ditch candy habit *eat healthy snacks/dinners *don't finish the kids' food
    Home Improvement:
    *trim tree *regrout shower tiles *add vents to kitchen and bathroom *sprinklers *garden/landscape *cement
    *winter - web design, html, emergent
    *spring - acctg, art, anything solitonic
    *get to know my dad much better *try to relate to my sister and attempt one on one quality time *talk to mom about mother/daughter roles and expectations (I gag here feeling that this is hopeless and will only initiate arguments). No amount of reasoning with her will change her emotional status towards me. I don't know how to participate in a relationship without opening up. These sets of personal goals are works in progress. I don't know what it will take, but I would like to see different situation than what is currently present. Jerome mentioned that he thinks I shut my family out. Could this be a self-truth that I need to examine? If there wasn't such a bad experience associated to every single time I open myself up and make myself available to them, then perhaps I wouldn't have this need to distance myself and keep them at bay as if they were wild lions after my jugular. Ok, that was quite a detour. Sorry.
  • Community Connecting- So my focus lately has been to connect with as many people as possible. Last week I spent so much one on one time and group time both with people from my church community and I was really thrilled to see then connect to each other. I really feel like there is such a strengthening bond there. And it reminds me of a vision I had months back when my church was going through prayer and fasting. It was us as ropes. Individually we could be used say as a fishing pole and as fishers of men we could bait and catch just one at a time with alot of patience and down time. But when the ropes are woven together strong sturdy and tight together we make an intricate net that when casted out it can catch a motherload if the Lord wills it. It's exciting. Anyways, my laundry list... NYE with Zac, Josh, Lani, Kelly, Tom, and others; "rebel lunch" with jon, mike, andrea, spains, zac; game night with polly, gary, randy, and flora; chior with Crystal; shopping with Aimee; dinner with Andrea; meeting with Dave; Rocco as a newbie to homegroup; mentoring with Zac; retreating with mark, nate and kool-aid clan; movie night with Andrea, Kelly, Sutors, Bluhms, Tanners... so much connecting. I'm in love with it. More please!


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